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You realize that the worth of life is dying, that the worth of affection is loss, and nonetheless you watch the golden afternoon mild fall on a face you’re keen on, realizing that the sunshine will quickly fade, realizing that the loving face too will someday fade to indifference or bone, and you’re keen on anyway — as a result of life is transient however doable, as a result of love alone bridges the not possible and the everlasting.
I take into consideration this and a passage from Louise Erdrich’s 2005 novel The Painted Drum (public library) flits throughout the sky of my thoughts:
Life will break you. No one can shield you from that, and dwelling alone received’t both, for solitude can even break you with its craving. You need to love. You need to really feel. It’s the purpose you’re right here on earth. You might be right here to danger your coronary heart. You might be right here to be swallowed up. And when it occurs that you’re damaged, or betrayed, or left, or damage, or dying brushes close to, let your self sit by an apple tree and hearken to the apples falling throughout you in heaps, losing their sweetness. Inform your self that you just tasted as many as you might.
This, in fact, is what life advanced to be — an aria of affirmation rising like luminous steam from the chilly darkish silence of an detached cosmos that may someday swallow all of it. Each dwelling factor is its singer and its steward — one thing the poetic paleontologist Loren Eiseley captures with unusual poignancy in his 1957 essay “The Judgment of the Birds,” present in his altogether magnificent posthumous assortment The Star Thrower (public library).
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Eiseley recounts resting beneath a tree after a day of trekking by way of fern and pine needles amassing fossils, dozing off within the heat daylight, then being all of a sudden woke up by an ideal commotion to see “an unlimited raven with a purple and squirming nestling in his beak” perching on a crooked department above. He writes:
Into the glade fluttered small birds of half a dozen varieties drawn by the anguished outcries of the tiny dad and mom. Nobody dared to assault the raven. However they cried there in some instinctive widespread distress, the bereaved and the unbereaved. The glade stuffed with their smooth rustling and their cries. They fluttered as if to level their wings on the assassin. There was a dim intangible ethic he had violated, that they knew. He was a fowl of dying. And he, the assassin, the black fowl on the coronary heart of life, sat on there, glistening within the widespread mild, formidable, unmoving, unperturbed, untouchable. The sighing died. It was then I noticed the judgment. It was the judgment of life in opposition to dying. I’ll by no means see it once more so forcefully introduced. I’ll by no means hear it once more in notes so tragically extended. For within the midst of protest, they forgot the violence. There, in that clearing, the crystal notice of a music sparrow lifted hesitantly within the hush. And at last, after painful fluttering, one other took the music, after which one other, the music passing from one fowl to a different, doubtfully at first, as if some evil factor had been being slowly forgotten. Until all of a sudden they took coronary heart and sang from many throats joyously collectively as birds are recognized to sing. They sang as a result of life is good and daylight lovely. They sang below the brooding shadow of the raven. In easy fact they’d forgotten the raven, for they had been the singers of life, and never of dying.
Couple with Hannah Arendt on love and reside with the elemental concern of loss, then revisit Loren Eiseley on the warblers and the surprise of being.
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