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What Is Sufferer Mentality? A Definition
Let’s first distinguish between the authentic use of the time period “sufferer” and the time period “sufferer mentality.”
We’re all potential victims of injustice, crime, abuse, and bullying. We’ll all expertise trauma sooner or later in our lives. But a handful of people will go on to develop a “sufferer mentality” (Andronnikova & Kudinov, 2021).
It’s essential to grasp {that a} sufferer mentality is normally based mostly on a authentic expertise of victimization sooner or later in a person’s historical past. The distinction is that this expertise has distorted their worldview and interpersonal experiences, usually resulting from poor coping methods and psychological inflexibility (Gabay et al., 2020).
It’s a painful way of thinking that forestalls any risk of peace and contentment. Based on Kaufman (2020, para. 6), a latest evaluation of analysis research on sufferer mentality discovered it consists of 4 foremost traits:
“continuously in search of recognition for one’s victimhood, ethical elitism, lack of empathy for the ache and struggling of others, and ceaselessly ruminating about previous victimization.”
Let’s unpack this a bit and discover what every of those traits truly means.
1. Continually in search of recognition for one’s victimhood
An individual with a sufferer mentality seeks validation of their sufferer standing from others. This can be expressed as fixed complaining about setbacks or perceiving modifications in circumstances as unfair.
Different individuals are required to agree that these occasions quantity to a personally directed injustice, or else they too will likely be accused of victimizing the particular person (Gabay et al., 2020).
2. Ethical elitism
An individual with a sufferer mentality implicitly believes in their very own ethical superiority. Briefly, they’re proper, and those that disagree with them or have completely different views are improper. This may be summed up within the colloquial expression “it’s my means or the freeway.”
It factors to black-and-white pondering, a scarcity of nuance, and an incapability to deal with complexity. It could be expressed in a way of entitlement to no matter is outlined as “good,” no matter effort or advantage. Once more, it additionally signifies a scarcity of psychological flexibility that’s required to bounce again and develop resilience (Gabay et al., 2020).
3. Lack of empathy for the ache and struggling of others
An individual caught in a sufferer mentality is self-absorbed with little capacity to think about different views. It doesn’t matter how a lot one other particular person could also be struggling; if they don’t present ongoing validation of perceived victimization, they threat being deemed a victimizer.
These with a sufferer mentality lack emotional literacy, compassion, and empathy. That is deeply disruptive to every kind of relationships, each private {and professional}. It could possibly result in rejection, isolation, and loneliness, which is usually seen as additional proof of unfairness (Gabay et al., 2020).
4. Ruminating about previous victimization
Rumination entails repetitive ideas about earlier adverse experiences, which may result in a low temper, together with emotions of disgrace, disappointment, despair, and even despair (Kaufman, 2020).
Clearly, an individual caught in a sufferer mentality is in ache, struggling, and has poor psychological well being.
Whereas these “victims” could possibly forge codependent relationships with these keen to “rescue” them by providing them unconditional validation and help, relationships with impartial, wholesome adults will possible elude them resulting from their incapability to course of battle or maintain wholesome boundaries (Kaufman, 2020).
The rest of this text will dig deeper into the kind of persona that’s most weak to creating a sufferer mentality earlier than explaining how a coach, counselor, or therapist can assist a shopper develop the resilience required to beat a sufferer mindset (Graham, 2018).
Taking part in the Sufferer – A Mentality Dysfunction?
A person with a sufferer mentality operates in accordance with an exterior locus of management, which means they imagine they’ve little or no private company and attribute their difficulties, failures, or challenges to exterior components, different folks, or conditions they will’t change.
Whereas a sufferer mentality is a brittle and painful way of thinking, it can be a type of manipulation designed to implement compliance with the “victimized” particular person’s objectives (Kets de Vries, 2012).
Indicators of a sufferer mindset
When an individual performs the sufferer, they might assume the function of sufferer to get their wants met through secondary features — benefits that accrue from avoiding accountability for his or her issues. Indicators of a sufferer mindset usually embody the next:
Blaming others for his or her issues and difficulties
Externalizing accountability by seeing themselves as passive recipients of adverse occasions
Helplessness resulting from feeling on the mercy of exterior circumstances past their management
Self-pity, dwelling on perceived misfortunes, and feeling sorry for themselves
Resisting change or taking proactive steps to enhance their state of affairs
Adverse outlook on life, anticipating and anticipating adverse outcomes
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