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What do you do while you really feel just like the partitions are closing in on you and you’ll barely breathe since you’re so careworn? When you’re like me, your pure tendency is to revert to issues that aren’t essentially going that will help you in the long term; possibly stress consuming or overworking. Every of us has a pure place we go to after we’re careworn, however it isn’t normally the most effective place. It takes much more work for us to breathe after which work on the healthiest technique to handle stress. However in the long run, giving ourselves the proper instruments to succeed will assist us get the true comfort we actually want.
In right this moment’s article, we’re taking a look at what the Enneagram sorts are inclined to do once they’re overwhelmed, after which what they need to do as an alternative to get out from below continual overwhelm or stress. Let’s get began!
Undecided what your Enneagram kind is? Take our free questionnaire right here
What You Want When You’re Overwhelmed, Based mostly On Your Enneagram Kind
Estimated studying time: 21 minutes
Enneagram 1 and Overwhelm
The very first thing Ones are inclined to do when stress begins to rise is to handle the state of affairs. They attempt to management all of the shifting items in order that they will get every part proper and resolve the stress that they’re feeling. But when this doesn’t repair something, or if stress continues for a very long time, they will disintegrate to 4. This appears just like the One abruptly withdrawing, changing into melancholy, self-absorbed, and feeling misunderstood and deserted by the world. Throughout this time they could have fantasies a couple of rescuer who may present up and save them from their ache; somebody who would lastly perceive them and see all of the arduous work they’re doing and take among the burden off their shoulders.
What Ones Ought to Do As a substitute:
There’s nothing unsuitable with getting emotional or feeling melancholy or taking a couple of moments to mourn the state of affairs you’re in. However what Ones actually ought to do once they’re overwhelmed is attempt to combine some elements of the Seven into their lives. Take some deep breaths, clench and unclench your arms, jaw, shoulders, legs, any physique half you may. Soar round and loosen up your limbs. When you’ve received your physique in a greater area, then take into consideration some methods you may loosen up and loosen up emotionally. It might really feel counterintuitive to your hard-working One nature, however this half is so necessary. Ones who combine 7 into their lives are usually extra comfortable, accepting, content material, and cheap.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine Seven Into Your Life:
· Watch a film or TV present that makes you snicker
· Hearken to music and dance like no one’s watching
· Go outdoors and take a stroll in nature
· Speak to a pal and make a plan to do one thing enjoyable and leisurely (mini golf, a film, ice cream, impromptu highway journey!)
· Play a recreation that will get you out of your head and right into a happier headspace
· Write down the issues which are making you careworn, then put them apart when you do one thing enjoyable. This fashion you already know you may come again to them later so that you don’t must mentally maintain on to them when you do one thing else.
Discover out extra about Ones: The Enneagram 1 Youngster
Enneagram 2 and Overwhelm
The very first thing Twos are inclined to do once they expertise stress is attempt to discover acknowledgement and comfort from others. They really feel extra insecure than normal and wish to really feel related, beloved, and wanted of their relationships. But when stress continues or leads to a degree of full overwhelm, they will flip a swap and change into extra like unhealthy Eights. When this occurs, they change into extra passive-aggressive, irritable, offended, and reactive. They push themselves more durable, battle in opposition to anybody attempting to step in and handle the state of affairs, and begin to really feel rage in the direction of individuals who they really feel have taken them as a right. In these moments they could blow up and vent all their anger on the very folks they’ve labored so arduous to deal with and be there for. Many instances this may really feel like an uncontrollable, out of physique expertise.
“When immature Twos are damage, they will abruptly cease being candy and pliant and present their claws. At such moments they’re able to doing frightful harm to the very particular person they supposedly love above all.” – Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert, The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective
What Twos Ought to Do As a substitute:
The very first thing that each Enneagram kind ought to do is attempt to get their physique in a greater area. When stress is flooding your physique, it’s actually tough to modify to a more healthy headspace till you’re bodily feeling higher. Attempt a few of these deep respiration methods to calm your physique and cut back the stream of stress. Stretch your muscle tissues. Shake every part out.
When you’ve gotten your physique to a greater place, take into consideration methods you may combine among the 4 Enneatype into your life. As a Two you naturally deal with others, typically abandoning your self to what different folks want. Overwhelm could be a purple flag, warning you to get again in contact with your self. When a Two integrates 4 into their lives, they change into extra self-aware, glad, sensible, and insightful. You see, Twos are inclined to repress their very own wants and undertaking them onto others. This may appear like not giving themselves relaxation once they’re sick, however ensuring that others get loads of relaxation. When Twos combine 4, they have to face themselves and their wants and their true motivations. That is one of the best ways to seek out true comfort for the Two.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine 4 Into Your Life:
· Write down your true emotions in a journal (don’t think about anybody else studying it)
· Get some paints, pencils, or different varied artwork provides and take a look at drawing your emotions or the occasions surrounding them
· Hearken to music that resonates with how you’re feeling
· Write an inventory of issues that make you content and aren’t reliant on anybody else
· Watch a film you want, with out worrying about what different folks wish to watch
· Remind your self that your emotions are simply as necessary as anybody else’s
· Let your self have a great cry
· After some reflection, speak to somebody truthfully about what your wants are and ask for assist.
Uncover extra about Twos: 10 Indicators of an Unhealthy Enneagram 2
Enneagram 3 and Overwhelm
The very first thing Threes do once they expertise stress is attempt to take cost and handle every part. This may appear like looking for sensible options, engaged on tasks till they’re completed even when these tasks are monumental, or discovering shortcuts to unravel the problems with out actually inspecting them in depth. They at all times wish to seem competent, like they’ve received all of it collectively and are completely unflappable. Due to this, they usually refuse to ask for assist and should keep away from admitting they’re struggling in any respect. Or they could abruptly give up relationships or commitments that they really feel usually are not serving to them or are bringing down their stage of success.
If stress continues or mounts to a degree of full overwhelm, Threes could disintegrate to 9. All of a sudden they flip a swap, put on out, and change into withdrawn, disinterested, and listless. Slightly than showing lively and power like they normally do, they appear empty, drained, and unmotivated. They could let their look deteriorate, spend hours watching tv or scrolling on their telephones, or withdraw from society in a state of exhaustion.
What Threes Ought to Do As a substitute:
As with all of the Enneagram sorts, it’s essential for Threes to get in contact with their physique and bodily loosen up and discover peace. This may appear like deep respiration, practising progressive muscle leisure, or leaping round, dancing, and loosening up.
As soon as the Three is feeling much less careworn bodily, they should take a while to combine some wholesome Six attributes into their lives. Most common Threes are very picture targeted; they work themselves arduous to realize the looks of competence and achievement. As soon as Threes cease worrying a lot about their look and take extra time to deal with causes larger than themselves, they begin to discover lasting peace and satisfaction. For the Six, this implies being a part of a neighborhood and sticking with it by means of thick and skinny. Changing into extra targeted on larger values, ideas, and causes which are past themselves permits Threes to totally embody their strengths of resilience, productiveness, and innovation. This may take the large burden of feat and looking out profitable off their shoulders and assist them really feel related, significant, and actually content material.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine Six Into Your Life:
· Make an inventory of issues that matter to you which are utterly unrelated to your efficiency or look
· Remind your self of who’s there for you, no matter how nicely you carry out or what you appear like
· Speak to somebody who actually cares about you, and be sincere about what you’re going by means of
· Volunteer for a trigger that issues to you and offers you a way of which means and function
· Speak to a counselor who may help you type out underlying feelings
· Take a stroll in nature and take into consideration how you might be related to nature and the way all life is interdependent
· Consider the values that lie past your self and discover small, significant methods to contribute to these values
Discover out extra about Threes: Escaping the Entice of Self-importance for Enneagram Threes
Enneagram 4 and Overwhelm
When Fours first start to expertise stress, they have a tendency to withdraw and retreat into melancholy. They could attempt to course of their emotions, get in contact with what’s motivating them or discover a inventive avenue to specific their emotions. If stress continues or reaches a state of full overwhelm, they could disintegrate to Two. When this occurs they change into extra targeted on how others really feel about them, making a great impression, being wanted, confiding in others, feeling related and beloved. This may devolve into changing into needy, giving up their very own independence, or attempting to assist and make themselves indispensable, however in a approach that’s neither useful to them or the opposite particular person.
What Fours Ought to Do As a substitute:
First, Fours ought to deal with calming their physique and decreasing the push of stress that’s in all probability inflicting lots of rigidity and jitters all by itself. This implies practising deep respiration, progressive muscle leisure, or going for a fast jog or a stroll outdoors to assist the physique discover its personal calm.
As soon as the 4 is feeling bodily in a greater area, it’s time to begin integrating some elements of the wholesome One into their lives. This implies specializing in values, diligence, and objectivity, quite than getting overwhelmed with a wave of unfavourable emotions that would lead them right into a pit of despair or immobility.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine One Into Your Life:
Keep in mind that emotions usually are not at all times information. Take into consideration issues that may very well be impacting your temper (tiredness, starvation, climate, discomfort) and attempt to resolve these for those who can.
Take into consideration the values that matter to you. How may you contribute to these, in a small approach, right this moment? How will you keep targeted on these values when different issues in your life really feel uncontrolled?
Arrange one a part of your dwelling area in a approach that is sensible in your targets. For instance, for those who’re attempting to jot down a e book, create a peaceable writing area that may naturally encourage you to sit down down and kind.
Create wholesome routines to maintain you feeling higher. For instance, consider three easy issues you are able to do within the morning that can begin you off on the proper foot (e.g., consuming a glass of water, making your mattress, doing a little stretches).
Discover out extra concerning the 4: The Enneagram 4 Individualist
Enneagram 5 and Overwhelm
When Fives first start to expertise stress, they have a tendency to drag away, withdraw, and search for info that can ease their nervousness. They could obsess over a specific topic of curiosity, attempt troubleshooting, or cancel duties and commitments. Basically they inform the world to “go away me alone.”
If stress continues and results in a state of overwhelm, Fives could disintegrate to Seven. When this occurs, they change into extra nihilistic, scattered, targeted on diversion, pleasure, and pointless leisure. They could make unusually rash choices for his or her kind, behaving in a approach that’s extra impulsive and short-sighted than normal.
What Fives Ought to Do As a substitute:
As a substitute of falling right into a scattered, stressed, flurry of exercise and pleasure-seeking, the 5 ought to attempt to combine some wholesome qualities of the Eight. However I’m leaping forward too far right here. As at all times, attempt to get your physique right into a less-charged state. Take some deep breaths, clench and unclench your fists, shake out your limbs and attempt to launch among the pent-up rigidity harboring itself in your joints, lungs, muscle tissues, even your abdomen. Punch a pillow if it is advisable! When you’re over-stimulated, take a while to be alone and breathe. However don’t change into a hermit! A part of getting true comfort means embracing life and never simply hiding away.
Subsequent, combine some Eight qualities into your life. As a 5 you are usually cautious, sluggish to motion, perfectionistic, obsessive about studying to the purpose the place the “doing” by no means will get began. Once you combine some Eight qualities, you exchange your information to one thing helpful, start to belief your instincts, and develop extra confidence in your talents.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine Eight Into Your Life:
Get outdoors and transfer your physique. This might imply exercising, doing a sport, going for a hike, mountaineering. Simply select one thing that will get you extra in tune along with your physique and your bodily instincts.
Start one thing you’ve been desirous about beginning for a very long time, however have been laying aside.
Begin and end one small undertaking
Assert your wants. As a substitute of isolating in your stress, let somebody who cares know the way you’re feeling and ask for assist.
Let the world in. Exit in nature and be current with what’s taking place round you, spend time with somebody you care about and easily be current with them.
Discover out extra about Fives: The Enneagram 5 – The Investigator
Enneagram 6 and Overwhelm
When Sixes first expertise stress, they attempt to discover options and methods out. Their minds are inclined to buzz with worst-case situations and foresee issues they will circumvent. They have a tendency to change into defensive, anxious, and evasive, consumed by attempting to repair no matter is inflicting them stress as rapidly as doable.
If stress continues or reaches the purpose of overwhelm, Sixes disintegrate to Three. All of a sudden they change into extra image-conscious; they usually direct their pent-up frustration at others or blame them for points they’re coping with. Throughout these phases they could appear extra harsh, dishonest, or aggressive. An aura of cockiness could come over them or they could merely appear unusually involved with how others view them.
What Sixes Ought to Do As a substitute:
Sixes, when overwhelmed, ought to initially deal with stabilizing their physique and respiration to mitigate the push of tension. Strategies corresponding to conscious respiration may be profoundly calming. Progressive muscle leisure, the place rigidity is consciously launched from one space of the physique at a time, ranging from the toes and shifting up, will also be efficient. Moreover, grounding workouts that join Sixes with the current second, corresponding to noticing 5 issues they will see, 4 they will contact, three they will hear, two they will scent, and one they will style, assist in diverting the thoughts from spiraling ideas.
As soon as a state of bodily calm is achieved, it’s time to combine some 9 qualities into their lives. Sixes usually have a flurry of ideas and concepts continuously buzzing of their thoughts, forcing them right into a state of charged stress. Once they combine some 9 qualities, they change into calmer, extra at peace with what is going on, and extra open-minded and able to coping with what life is handing them.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine 9 Into Your Life:
Spend time in nature, permitting the inherent peace of the setting to appease and floor you.
Check out some meditation or yoga to encourage a state of mindfulness and presence.
Discover methods to observe acceptance. This may imply connecting along with your internal little one and having extra understanding that many issues are out of your management. It may additionally imply reminding your self that you just’ve overcome sudden struggles up to now or that battle and hardship are a part of life, however so is magnificence and pleasure.
Take into account speaking to a therapist about what you’re going by means of and getting some recommendation or comfort.
Domesticate some quiet, relaxed time for your self. Learn a e book, take a scorching bathtub, spend time within the backyard, or simply take a much-needed relaxation.
Verify in along with your physique to see if there’s something that’s additional amplifying your stress, like starvation, fatigue, or discomfort.
Discover out extra concerning the Six: The Enneagram 6 – The Loyalist
Enneagram 7 and Overwhelm
When Sevens first start to expertise stress, they have a tendency to search for distractions and diversions to maintain the hardship off their thoughts. This might imply enjoying a online game, calling a pal, going out for a drive, or another variety of issues.
If stress continues or reaches a degree of overwhelm, Sevens could disintegrate to One. All of a sudden they really feel deeply acutely aware of all of the issues which are unsuitable of their lives. They see everybody else’s errors, flaws of their setting, and really feel a deep have to regain a way of management. Throughout these moments, they could change into abruptly conscious of issues about themselves or others which are “unsuitable” or “evil” and have to be fastened. In a frenzy, they’ll attempt to “repair” every part straight away, however usually make issues worse as an alternative.
What Sevens Ought to Do As a substitute:
As a substitute of changing into hyper-fixated on flaws and errors, Ones ought to combine among the 5 enneatype. The pure state of the Seven is to be in fixed movement, exploring, discovering, occurring adventures, and attempting new issues. They like to remain busy and distracted quite than wanting inward. When Sevens combine 5, they “voyage inside” and truly have a look at the reality of what’s occurring for them. This implies dealing with their anxieties and looking for actual information about who they’re and what they want. It means taking a break from the surface world and permitting themselves to ponder and study.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine 5 Into Your Life:
Once you really feel mentally scattered, careworn, and overwhelmed by errors, take a while to breathe. Respiratory workouts may help cut back rigidity, floor you in your physique, and promote a calmer, extra relaxed state.
Take time to actually course of your emotions. How do your emotions manifest in your physique? Are you able to identify them? What do you assume these emotions try to let you know? After totally processing the sensation, let it go, however retain the lesson you realized from it.
Follow meditation or mindfulness. If that is new to you, attempt guided meditations or utilizing an app like Headspace or Calm.
Flip off your cellphone, pc, and tv and permit your self to relaxation within the silence. Discover how you’re feeling (in all probability impatient). Take into account what’s beneath the impatience and write it down.
Consider a topic that’s significant to you and take a while to analysis it in-depth, even while you begin feeling a bit bored.
Discover out extra about Sevens: The Enneagram 7 – The Fanatic
Enneagram 8 and Overwhelm
When Eights first start to expertise stress, they have a tendency to take motion, search for methods to manage the state of affairs, and confront the issue head-on. Generally they’re extra offended, confrontational, or blunt throughout this stage.
If stress continues or reaches a degree of overwhelm, Eights are inclined to disintegrate to 5. They withdraw, change into sullen, brooding, and distant. Typically they really feel overwhelmed by fears of shedding energy or management of the state of affairs. Throughout these instances, they may really feel overwhelmed by a way of uncharacteristic powerlessness, which they discover new and alarming. They could frantically attempt to study info to attempt to really feel competent sufficient, however usually they really feel unusually incompetent as an alternative.
What Eights Ought to Do As a substitute:
To search out true comfort when overwhelmed, it’s essential for Eights to work at bringing among the Two into their lives. As a substitute of simply on the lookout for energy, Eights have to search for therapeutic, connection, and restoration. The Eight naturally needs to have autonomy, management, and independence from others. However typically they again themselves right into a nook with this, preventing for energy over their very own territory and changing into an increasing number of indifferent from others and their brave nature. By integrating Two, they change into extra actually courageous, benevolent, protecting, and productive.
Methods to Scale back Stress and Combine Two Into Your Life:
Do some breathwork to calm your physique. Breathe deep, in by means of the nostril and out by means of the mouth. Focus in your breath and let go of any rigidity or tightness in your physique.
As a substitute of pushing away emotions of vulnerability and neediness, enable your self to really feel them. Lean into them and see what they’re attempting to let you know about your self and others.
You’re not the form of one who sits round moping, however typically it’s necessary to really really feel your grief, losses, and hurts. Attempt to discover why these emotions are there and write them down in a journal.
Discover somebody you belief and speak in confidence to them about what you’re going by means of. Even when it feels odd or uncomfortable, don’t assume that others don’t wish to hear about you. The individuals who have your again WANT to have your again and be somebody you may flip to.
Look at how steadily you count on folks to betray or reject you. Many Eights, unknowingly, ship out indicators of rejection to others just because they’re so positive others will reject or betray them. Take a second to achieve out to somebody you care about and affirm their significance to you.
Follow stretching and muscle leisure workouts to launch rigidity and stress in your physique.
Enneagram 9 and Overwhelm
When Nines start to really feel overwhelmed, their preliminary response is usually to retreat into their internal sanctum of peace and tranquility, hoping the stress will merely dissolve if ignored. This escapism sometimes manifests in procrastination, numbing out with actions like binge-watching TV, or overindulging in consolation meals. The extra they attempt to keep away from battle and stress, the extra passive-aggressive and disconnected from actuality they change into.
What Nines Ought to Do As a substitute:
Nines ought to try to combine some elements of the Three enneatype into their lives. By doing so, they will study to say themselves and their needs extra successfully, whereas additionally discovering the worth in setting and attaining targets. This doesn’t imply Nines must sacrifice their peace-loving nature; quite, it encourages them to discover a steadiness between motion and inaction, making certain they’re actively collaborating in their very own lives.
Considered one of my closest relations is a 9, and he or she usually numbs herself to herself. She “vacates the premises” when she’s careworn, denies having wants, and tries to deal with some internal peace she’s cultivated. The issue with that is that it retains her within the demanding or painful state of affairs longer when options are there to be grasped. For Nines, it’s essential to observe awakening the self, talking up for your self, and changing into extra assertive and current to who you might be and why your wants matter.
Methods to Scale back Overwhelm and Combine Three Into Your Life:
Set small, achievable targets every day. Rejoice your victories, irrespective of how minor they could appear, to construct confidence and momentum.
Interact in bodily exercise to assist reconnect along with your physique and break by means of the numbness. This may be so simple as a every day stroll or a yoga session.
Converse up about your wants and opinions extra usually, even when it’s simply with family and friends at first. Follow asserting your self in secure areas.
Make investments time in a pastime or ability that pursuits you, one that offers you a way of accomplishment and function.
Mirror in your accomplishments and the way they’ve positively impacted your life and the lives of others. Acknowledge that your actions do make a distinction.
Discover out extra about Nines: The Enneagram 9 Youngster
What Do You Assume?
How do you address overwhelm? Have you ever discovered sure methods more practical than others primarily based in your Enneagram kind? Please share your ideas, insights, and questions within the feedback under. We’d love to listen to from you!
References:
The Knowledge of the Enneagram: The Full Information to Psychological and Non secular Progress for the 9 Persona Sorts by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson (Bantam Books, 1999)
The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert (Crossroad Publishing, 2014)
The Enneagram, Relationships and Intimacy by David Daniels, M.D. and Suzanne Dione (David Daniels, M.D., 2018)
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